LOVE

Love is power-full, tangible, practical.

When all forsake you, it still exists within you.

It is the most subtle force & thus it’s power.  It can reach anywhere, underneath, through, around, for it’s force is gentleness, it’s progress is listening, it’s weapon a welcoming hug.

It is sad to me you want to choose hate & throw what love we had away like it was a piece of garbage.  You mattered to me.  I am so sorry it was not mutual.

You must be very scared inside to never let anyone in.  I am sorry you were never authentic with me & only pretended to care because you believe in lack & scarcity & that force & manipulation are the only way you can get what you want.

The saddest thing is you are starving for it–real Love.  It’s nourishment, it’s comfort, it’s healing salve to your loneliness.  But you push it away, just as you have me out of fear & ego.  That is a choice that you keep choosing in a lot of your life.

I know I am a beautyfull person who loved you deeply, authentically, who really let you in.  I really allowed myself to be vulnerable with you & to share who I was–flaws & all.  Feelings & hopes.  Pains & joys.   So for me it all was real.

The only memory now I think was not a lie, was when we held hands.  There was something really pure about that & sweet, falling asleep with our hands held.  There was no malice or manipulation or control or an attempt to dominate.   I wish we had had more true moments like that, when you allowed your walls down.  That was the person i loved the most.  The one that you most truely hate.  I loved your imperfections, your vulnerability, your kindness, your sweetness.   It is hard now since you have thrown me away like a piece of shit, like a used kleenex, like a nothing, a no one, been unwilling to talk to me, to compromise, to apologize to leave any opening for healing, & closure & moving on or friendship.   It is super hard to now think anything about your Love was true.

How can you do that to someone you said you loved?  How can they mean nothing to your heart? Their welfare & health can mean nothing to your mind?  How can you not ever think one positive thought about who they were & only post things like they were a horrible mistake?  Where is gratitude in any of that?

I had sincere, deep gratitude for you my dear.  I had deep love for you, but i see the person you created was a lie only to be revealed after the final curtain of a relationship had fallen.  I thought we would be friends, family forever . . .until the end of our lives.  You couldn’t wait to run away because closeness & being seen terrify you.  You are a child born of terror.

I hope you find who you are.

i know i am worthy of love & that i am loveable.  God bless me & God bless you too.   Goodbye.

God bless you anyways even as you try to hurt me.  I know my true power resides within.

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