When someone treats you like you don’t exist,
who you shared your bed with
the most vulnerable thoughts in your head with,
who held your hand tenderly in theirs . . .
Where do you go with that?
How not to have love turn to hate?
I don’t want to give him that power
even though in stony silence he
tries to strip me of mine,
But really how does someone you shared your
most heartfelt self, your soul
treat you like utter crapt?
I don’t understand it & I never, ever
To understand how to turn the heart into cement would cause me to crumble.
So I try, very hard, to have this deep
knife wound, not destroy me,
not close off my heart as his is,
not dry up my tears . . .
Because i know to feel
whether joy or sorrow
is to be truely alive
& to keep one’s heart open
& that is the greatest love i can give this
dark, dreary world,
whether it deserves it
I do this for me.